So parenthood has definitely proven to be quite the adventure, but one I am enjoying with the exception of a few nagging details -- namely, sleepless nights, inconsolable crying, and breastfeeding. My friends who entered the parenting world before I did assure me that all of these things will get better. And me, continuing to be the impressionable newbie, actually believe them. Really, I do have faith that this beautiful little daughter of ours will continue to melt our hearts in more ways than I can ever imagine. But I'm not going to lie. It's been pretty tough so far. And, really, she is not an extremely difficult baby (at least not compared to other stories I've heard or read about), but I think it has just been a combination of my dealing with a bit of the baby blues, coping with the recovery of labor and delivery, dealing with the lack of sleep, and trying to learn all the ins and outs of baby care and Elsa's specific needs and desires. My mom continues to tell me that Elsa is a taker right now, and that eventually when she is able to smile and interact more, things will feel a lot different. I know she is right. For now, though, even those uncontrollable, in-her-sleep Elsa smiles send a bit of sweetness my way.
Thank goodness the feeding is becoming a bit less painful. I'm still not really enjoying it, and I'm currently struggling to understand how any mother really does, but I'm at least able to deal a bit more than I was during those first couple of weeks. I still feel like a dairy cow. And a host for its parasite. But I'm going to stick with it because I know how good it is for Elsa and -- during those times when I am actually able to leech out a feeling of bonding -- for me too. It's just easy for me to see now why so many women bail the nursing bandwagon so early on. It can take a toll. And Elsa has even been a good feeder from the beginning, so I know it can be a lot worse! Yes, I know, this too will get better.
So what have we been doing these past few weeks? We've had visitors. My parents and Jarrett's mom and youngest brother came down from North Carolina to visit us in the hospital the night Elsa was born. My brother made it down the following Friday. Jarrett's brother, Stephen, came down that night and stayed through the weekend. My mom made another trip down (this time by plane) last Tuesday and was here to lend a hand through Saturday morning. And then Jarrett's sister, Bethany, came down late Saturday night and was here until yesterday afternoon. All of the company has been great, and everyone has been a huge help. Aside from family coming in, we have also had many fabulous meals brought to us by many a dear friend over the weeks, which has been amazing. I used to have visions of me, wearing the baby in a sling, cooking dinner and having it ready by the time Jarrett got home from work. This vision came to me often when Elsa was still in the womb. Now that she is actually here, I have yet to make it a reality. Maybe someday. So, needless to say, the meals have been a godsend.
We've also had appointments. Elsa was in the 75th percentile for weight (weighing in at 8 pounds, 14 ounces), 50th for head circumference, and 95th for height (I didn't catch the exact measurement to know if it changed from the previous visit) at her last pediatric appointment. The doctor also thought she looked less jaundiced, and the little cyst I had found behind her ear (which had already reduced in size significantly prior to the appointment) turned out to be nothing to be concerned about. Our next appointment is next Tuesday -- her one-month birthday. Her first shots might be involved, though now I can't remember if that's going to happen at the one-month mark or later since we're going to be on a delayed vaccination schedule. We also paid a visit to Dr. J. while my mom was in town, which was a much welcomed appointment for me, as I was in desperate need for a chiropractic adjustment. She also looked Elsa over briefly while I held her and said that her neck and spine were in fabulous condition for a newborn. She showed me how to hold Elsa upside down by her heels to allow her to self-adjust her spine. It's quite amazing -- it really works. Elsa was completely calm hanging upside down, and just kind of moved her head, looking around. Apparently this is what babies do, and the subtle neck movement actually puts themselves into alignment. Pretty cool. And, of course, as they get older, kids love hanging upside down even more. Dr. J. doesn't actually manually align children until they are around seven years of age. Yesterday was my post partum midwife appointment, and Bethany came along to that one, which ended up being a huge help considering we arrived at 10:15 a.m. for a 10:45 a.m. appointment, and I wasn't called back to be seen until after noon. Elsa did extremely well considering. Thankfully I came prepared with my nursing cover and supplies for a trunk-of-the-car diaper change. Margaret thought I was healing really well, and thought Elsa looked great. I am scheduled to go back again in five weeks.
Our other outings have included trips to Publix, Perimeter Mall, Babies R Us, Lenox Mall, Phipps Plaza (yes, we did some shopping with my mom while she was here!), Chick fil A, Taco Mac, Universal Joint, the DeKalb Farmers Market, the post office, the police station (no, she is not already in trouble with the law... I had to pick up a police report for our damaged fence), and many walks around the neighborhood, as well as across the street to meet friends at McKoy Park. Elsa also attended a birthday party for the first time -- her little friend, Finnan, turned one. The little monkey in the photo was her party favor.
Jarrett is now into his second week back at work, and I'm sure he has his own set of personal struggles in terms of feelings of being away from his new daughter so soon after her birth. My main concern for him since he's gone back is that he actually get some sleep, so he's been taking charge of most of the baths and now the evening feeding (now that we've just started trying to introduce a bottle so Jarrett can feed her once in awhile and so we can get a babysitter at times), but I've been taking care of her throughout the night. She tends to only wake twice before sunrise, which isn't too bad, and occasionally (as she did last night) she actually gives me about three or four hours of straight sleep initially. Sometimes she seems to have a hard time settling down in the evening to go to bed, which can become rather taxing, but overall she's doing pretty well. That said, I can't wait until she sleeps through the night. Boy how things have changed. I used to fall asleep and not wake at all until my alarm went off in the morning. My sound sleeping has come to an end.
So overall things are going well, and we are all adjusting to our new life slowly but surely. I can honestly say that every missed minute of sleep, every step toward that first gray hair, every tear that has been shed is totally worth it. It might not always seem like it when in the moment of those trying times, but when I see that perfect sleeping face, or look into those big, bright eyes during her quiet/active alert periods, or kiss her chubby cheek as I hold her close, I can't help but fall in love all over again.
1 comment:
Lovely post. Photos are amazing, as always. I remember those exact visions about dinner. Sometimes even now it seems like a pipe dream. :-) And yes, getting sleep makes the world such a brighter place!
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